3 Life Changes Since I Have Graduated - 6 Month Post Graduation Update

It's been six months exactly since I graduated from my undergraduate degree at King's College London.

One chapter closed and another chapter now wide open. This one titled: 'Welcome to the Realities of Reality'

I think it's fair to say the experience of transitioning into the real world after years of studying within the four walls of various academic institutions is something that cannot be explained but rather has to be lived to really understand what the transition is.

To summarise nicely: Becoming an adult is tough. Combined with the pressures of finding your two feet in the real world? - even tougher.

It hasn't been all gloom and doom though, the independence is pretty cool and freedom to make your own choices comes in handy at times. In this post, I'm going to share three areas of my life I have noticed transition in since graduation. 





A change in relationships with the people around you


I think this one is a given. With any major shift, relationships are usually the first to feel the hit. Think about primary school to secondary school, sixth form/college to University - you gonna gain some but you also gonna lose some. 

Due to the nature of how friendships usually form, you keep in contact with those who are within your proximity and ultimately are convenient. Once those factors are taken away, the only thing you depend on now is intentionality.


If you aren't intentional, you drift. It's that simple.
intentional
/ɪnˈtɛnʃ(ə)n(ə)l/
adjective
  1. done on purpose; deliberate

People move onto other things. Some jet set to the other side of the World to pursue their dreams in another land. Others are more private about their lives and in that regard, you respect their privacy and keep your distance. 

My advice - know the people in your life and the qualities they bring to you and also how you pour into them. There’s something powerful about having the right people in your life and for me, these are people (a.k.a my friends) who I choose to be intentional about.

I make the step to make a call, send a text even when I don't want to, pray for them in times of need and arrange that meet up for Dinner when life commitments are getting heavy or work is piling up. 

My friends are also people who encourage me when everything feels like poo and also remind me of the God I serve and how everything is working together for my good. They also make me realise that life really shouldn't be taken too seriously and the importance of having a good time. 

I read a quote a few months back, and it said:

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with - Jim Rohn
And I believe this is totally true. There have been plenty times where I’ve sent long voice notes to a friend, stacked up long WhatsApp messages in frustration and had hours of sit-down conversations about life as a whole. There is nothing better than having people who can relate with you but still manage to muster the strength and drive to continue advancing ahead which also gives you the push to also continue. 

Maintaining friendships is tough. To maintain one in itself is hard work. It's not everyone you can keep up with and this is one reason why I appreciate social media because you still have the capacity to have an overview of what people are up to despite not necessarily contacting them directly. Sure, an Instagram feed probably isn't the most honest reflection of where someone is at their life right now but it's better than not contacting or hearing anything at all right? 


In life - we NEED community. All that rubbish about 'every man for himself' can’t be trusted.


Setting Your Priorities


You make time for what is most important to you - point, blank, period. 

I have found myself on multiple occasions having to ask myself what is important to me and why are these things important? What are the intents and motives behind what I do and where are these motives fuelled from? 

I have found that through asking these deep uncomfortable questions, I automatically started prioritising my life and gained a bit more clarity as to how I want to 'do life' in terms of how my day-to-day operations looks like. 

For example, I had to challenge myself with how long I spend on social media. Random scrolling on Instagram for a few hours in a day when I know I haven't spent time reading the Word? Na fam. I had to change my priorities so that I pushed the important things up the agenda of my life. I'm no where near where I'd like to be but baby steps are better than no steps. I have to continue reminding myself daily of what is important because distractions do come. 

Here are a few more examples:


  • All the random galivanting to see people or attend that event → Yeah, that Oyster Card isn't going to pay for itself sis... 

  • That cute top, blazer and oh yes shoes in the ZARA sale? → You really have a student loan to pay off and savings to enter your Monzo pot for your Driving lessons... 


I have found that setting your priorities have a huge impact on how your day-to-day runs and overall how you feel. 


Identity


This one is a biggie... In this season, your identity is tested more than ever before. I truly believe that the foundations you lay in your early twenties in regards to your identity consolidates the base in which you live the rest of your adulthood life. The stronger the foundation, the more resilience you have when the tides of life come.

What you choose to identity yourself with can either make you or break you. This is an area that I am still getting to grips with and honestly speaking, I am learning that life is a journey of discovering who I am. 

I find that especially in our generation, we draw close affinity to whatever makes us feel comfortable or stable and then tie our identity to that thing i.e. 


  • Money
  • Human Praise/Applause
  • Accolades
  • Job Titles
  • Social Media Platforms/Following
  • Bae

But who am I beyond all these things? If all social media platforms were to end tomorrow, who am I aside from the comments and likes from 800 Instagram followers? If I was to lose my job, would I still be sane and stable? If someone was to throw a couple of insults at me, would I break? What gives me stability and hope?

I know that our souls deepest longing go beyond the immediate gratification of these material things. 

I personally have chosen to gain my identity from the Word of God (Bible). It is unwavering and remains constant throughout time, providing me with a stability that nothing else in this World could offer. Through Jesus, I find my identity and ultimately discover purpose. 

At the end of the day, I think it's important to know what you are at your core and find ways to be affirmed so you can withstand whatever life throws at you and still have peace. 


Hope this has been a good read - do drop a comment if you resonate with anything above or just want to share stuff... Until next time!

2 comments

  1. I agree 100%
    Its important to be real with ourselves and give all our plans to God so he can give us a better future xx

    ReplyDelete

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